Have you always wondered if maybe you have ADHD? What if life is just so much harder for you because you have an unknown disadvantage that you are not addressing or dealing with. Then you tell yourself, "oh no thats what everyone thinks," and you drop the topic and struggle on, Except, what if... what if I actually did have it, I found out, I handled it and did the things my body and brain needed to thrive and I actually started living a better life. Thats what happened to me, and at 28 years old, i had to know for sure. And sure enough i tested off the charts. The doctor said she was surprised i had kept a job for more than 2 years in a row. (I had been at my job for 5 years).
I had had a particularly rough week of work, my week consists of slow to start monday thru wednesday. wednesday night feeling pretty even, thursday is usually a good day, friday is positive and then almost too much excitement, then the weekend and overwhelmed with options and thoughts of what i should be doing and not actually doing them, and then packing it all in at the last min, over doing it and paying for it until wednesday next week. Cycle continues. Anyway. The docotor tested me, they have you perform a very simple task on the computer for 20 minutes. Its a task that requires concentration, and you have to pay attention to get the right answer. But its not too hard, its pretty boring. So Im doing it and its easy enough and i get through the 20 minutes doing the best i can to get the best score. Well they dont actually look at your score, they dont care about your perfomrance, what they look at is your body movement, your eye, head, feet, knees, hands movement over the 20 minutes while you are supposed to be doing a mundane task. and they take the test results and actually look at the trend of how long you can stay attentive on the task in-between getting them wrong and getting them right, basically whats your span of "i can do this, i get it, this is fun, ok now im bored with this game" And they use that data with the body movements to actually percieve your attention span, your discomfort level and span of how long it takes your brain to switch off its reward system (ok im bored now) when it is trying to do a new task. Anyway my results were indicating that i had a pretty bad case of ADHD. Good to know, I felt relieved and very happy and also somewhat ashamed like i was broken. My mom also felt bad, like she had failed me and not gotten me tested. Of course this was not the case.
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